An adorable little cherub, and the mother was so proudly carrying the little boy, all dressed in his fancy clothes, he was the apple of his parents eyes was evident.
The mother was whispering sweet nothings into his tiny ears, and he was listening with rapt attention, giving a half smile and then a burst of laughter, what a joy it was to see the relationship between the two took me back to memories of my childhood,where Mom was my world, until I reached the age where friends took a main part of your platform, BUT, still Mom was always there whenever I needed her, and still is a major part of all my memories and fun times that we still have.
No one, just no one can ever take the place of a Mother, her touch, her smile, her understanding, and even her explosions are one of a kind.It is the biological bond that the nine month gestation has done so well for us all, and hence a mother plays a major part in our lives.
Its is only after being a parent can you understand the depth with which you look at a crying child, its not just superficial, being a parent opens your eyes in more ways than one, your emotional side is more sharper.
If I look back at my teenage years, I always felt sad, bad, charitable so on and so forth....But being a parent completely changes the picture, and it is a happy picture.You look at the whole scenario in a totally different perspective.Kind of looking at a 3-D vision.How good is that.
The husbands and my morning routines runs along a church, where the homeless and not economically well off are given a warm breakfast of coffee/tea and freshly baked loaves.
Long queues so early in the morning of little babies and kids all waiting for that first meal of the day. The gentle souls who provide the sad and lonely with this wonderful meal, are surely blessed !
Not a day goes by without seeing a smile on the kids faces as they take the loaves and quickly pack it in their mothers bags to be shared with maybe many more waiting for that meal at their home.
Gives me a lot to think on my walking rounds, what is it that makes one man to give so much of himself ? and sometimes in our own lives people pinch pennies for a basic need ?
There definitely has to be something divine in the man who cares to provide for a lesser fortunate one.
In my own life, I have seen people sharing of their very little that they have, they will cut it down to the last bit in order for each person to taste it, or even just give it away like "Oh! Take this, I have tasted it before, its yours now!"
All I can say is How wonderful is the soul that can feel so deeply for them.
Flip the coin and there you have the excesses they come and just grab the piece that you are holding in your hands, happens especially during sales.
There was this home furnishing sale and the usual rush that we see around sales, I had seen this beautiful pair of cushion covers and picked them up and checked them for size etc., liked them and decided to pay for them, not without picking another piece of furnishing, it was a bed sheet, so for a split second let the cushion covers down besides me, to check out the bed sheet, people have eyes all over their bodies, and there came this lady, all complete with her designer bags, hair-dos and grabbed the set of cushion covers that I kept besides me,"That's mine, lady," I politely told her" OH ! you just kept it down"
with a very annoyed smile(If there is something like that) "I needed both hands to check this out," showed her the sheet," "Can I have them please they go so well with my bedroom,"she said with a huge glisten in her mascara painted eyes, "Ask the sales girl to help you out with another piece," Saying this I stretched my hands to get the cushion covers from her, but no she wouldn't give it, to me, "I will first check out with the sales girl, "
My first instinct was to grab them right out of her hands, but you got to be uncivilised to behave that way, went with my head reeling not so much for the materialistic want but for the uncouth behaviour of this opportunist, who without a whimper must have been watching me all along and the first opportunity grabbed !!!!
I explained to the sales girl, how things happened and she politely said that she should have another pair, maybe more colors too!
It was only then that the lady dropped it right besides her on the counter, and walked away without as much as a apology for all the trouble etc., etc.,
Just goes to show the more we have the greedier we get to go out grab and walk away without apology
Like my header says,"LIFE'S LIKE THAT"
The look on his face as he sat upon the bench, was one of anxiety, the wrinkles on it, were too many for such a young face the sunken eyes completed the young mans expression, one of total dismay.
Standing at the station waiting for my train to come, I watched his body language, he had a nervous tick, he kept wringing his hands, in frustration and everytime he did that he muttered something to himself.None of the passengers gave him a second look, everyone went about their business, which made me want to believe that he kind of lived there.
Looked at the huge clock, it told me that my train was running late, and the announcements kept coming in. Here was this young man I really couldnt fathom what it was that brought that him to this state, of course I did notice a small teeny weeny suitcase tied with a rope ..double security.Beyond that no clues.
My eyes looked heavenward and with a prayer on my lips boarded the train to my destination.
"Coming, Coming," no respite, louder than the first time, "Knock, Knock,Knock,"
When the kids were little and school going, the door knocker used to be the indicator of the mood they were in
In my experience, with their knocks they would convey the mood they were in.
A loud knock would convey a kind of a happy mood, the debate they participated, the competition, the tests, etc, "were good, mom
An impatient knock, a continuous one, that was not going to stop soon, conveyed that they needed to visit the washroom, or had to talk to me about something that was seemingly important to them" Yes, Mom I saw the kite swoop and take away the little kitten," all with a tear glisten in the eye
The knock that always told me that things were not bright for my sweethearts was a soft, gentle barely audible one.
Going to greet them at the door and seeing their crestfallen faces, tear stained cheeks, told me a million things, in that nano second "Yes, Mom, she took away my pencil box, " or "I lost my water bottle," "MY homework has to be redone,"
My sweethearts were under stress for these trivial matters, and it would break my heart to know that one day they would be facing the tough, world.
But that moment was totally for them, and I was their only saviour who could wash away all that with a swipe of a kiss on their cheek, a huge hug, and even just listening to their chatter, chatter, their faces would brighten and a glimmer of a smile would appear....Sooo rewarding.
In all of this I was happy to be there for them at every moment, I always saw them off to school, would try to be at home when they returned ,
We parents have to be sensitive to our childrens needs,materialistic is the easiest to fulfill, but the emotional needs of a child are the hardest.
Each child manifests his/her own emotions in his own way, some scream for attention, some withdraw and some try and get attention at the cost of behaving naughty.
My experience has taught me that the two of them are not alike, one was shy and sensitive, the other was loud and bolder, and still these traits remain, they are little adults, But the character of each of them remains just the way it was.Maybe they can mask some of their emotions, But a parent has a million sensors all over .. so these little things never go away from a parent.
Sometimes there is no need to talk, not even a spoken word, is required just the silence, and be totally theirs....
What could be better than this ? The rewards are great, all in your hands.
Considering the amount of changes we have seen in our lifetime, do we really have time to enjoy them and their benefits ? surely it is a given fact that we are all so stressed that at the end of journey, (read:day,life,retirement) we barely have the energy and strength to gloat over it.
Everything lies in the fist of our tiny and not so tiny hands, Our abilities to stand up even if we are all alone, our way that we should react to situations, our attitude to life and so on and so forth,
Without much doubt I have always believed that no one can take away the happiness from us, it is up to each to be Happy or Unhappy.
So yes, the choice is yours to make..
She was the only child of her parents, they gave her everything and much more than she needed, surprisingly the girl, was not a spoiled child, like we would have expected to be, in her circumstances
She grew up into a beautiful girl, and a wonderful lady...time matured her into an adult. everywhere she went she always touched peoples lives in a good way and it pleased her parents no end to know that she was Gods child.
The years flew fast, and the time came when she was betrothed to the most eligible bachelor, a wonderful person himself, just imagine the intensity of the marriage, two wonderful people....
Everyone worthy of their invite looked forward to the Wedding Day.
It was a beautiful personal affair, and I had the good fortune to witness this, event,
The people who were present were the close family and extended family too ! weddings in India can never be personal affairs.
The couple dazzled and were even brighter than the brightest lights that lit up the floor. She shimmered in a white chantilly lace gown, and he was dapper in his customised suit...
The parents were over the moon for their kids.
It was during the first dance that I noticed the mother weeping softly into her laced kerchief, it broke my motherly heart to see that .. I too have a little adult, and she struck the right chord in me.
One day, I too would be watching my "little one" swirl away and knowing that she is so happy gives you that comfort feeling.
Daddy too was besides his pretty wife holding her both watching their jewel...oh ! so happy.
The evening left me with thoughts that crossed my mind, some answered and some not yet..One answer stood clear in all of my questions, that whatever time, money, more so time, and everything that a parents does to make the child good will always reap a good harvest..the evening was the proof.
Years later she is always there for her parents, in keeping with all her motherly and daughterly duties.
She is still around and surprise of surprises ! she has just one pretty girl like she was to her parents...Circle of life.
s
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
The wonderful season of lights has passed by so fast..zip zap gone, the beautiful fireworks..of course this season it was noticed that they were much lesser fireworks than the past years.
But the kandeels, lanterns and the fairy lights still hang on, blinking away .. the party is over.
So very much like us, we too long to hang on to all things good, be it the Christmas season browse thru the cards, eat the sweets long after, and of course the christmas tree dressing down ? is the last chore one wants to do.. it kind of feels sad, to wait for one more year, and which we are not even guaranteed about.
So, Yes lets enjoy the moment and spread the festive cheer ...
Come on live for now ..and keep smiling...
Life is a challenge and if you have conditioned yourself to believe that it will be a smooth, perfect and flawless, and a happy one...No,No,No way.
Even for a second, dont believe in that, trash away those thoughts and come down to ground zero, where you have to believe that the road, will be filled with ups and downs, sometimes, maybe more downs and no ups for a longtime to come.
You must remember, that every little challenge that comes along your way... it would make you stronger than the last one that you faced...isn't it that way?
I do remember my first job that I went to, it was a nice place and life to me at that point of time, could not go wrong..silly me, so i thought.
A few days into the job and there was the ugly head of discontent, not by me, by a staffer who had just reported to work after two weeks of leave, she saw me as a potential threat and was most unco operative, in whichever way that you might think ..be it directing me to complete a task that I had asked for her help or as simple as fixing the cartridge( New to all these chores).
I could not believe, the outside world was made up of all types of people, BUT it was right there staring at me ...what do you do in a situation like this ? I took the easiest route.
I would bare my soul to my family, in between sobs at home, tried the kindness angle but no, she would not relent with her unco operative movement, in the bargain she managed to rope a few of her friends on her side.Life was getting a bit tough for my soft self.It was my first,
What did I do ?after speaking my heart out to the authority, who kind of gave me a hint in unspoken words, that either I survive this or move to better climes.
I chose the latter and was I happy ..Of course !(Sometimes, you have to look at happiness too !)
Nothing frees oneself from unpleasant situations than moving away from it, and glad i did it, the lesson from this incident was it made me a stronger person and I was able to tackle tougher situations with ease than the previous times.The other challenges I faced were so much smaller in comparision....
When you face a challenge and overcome it, you have greater faith in yourself, in your abilities, and greater trust in the divine an now you can do something even bigger
Challenges and obstacles present all of us with the opportunity to grow and improve and learn and step outside of our comfort zone.
I do not see anything as a problem, I just see it as an opportunity to learn and grow in confidence
Visualize the outcome you want, and you will receive a solution to it, but take time to listen to the solution given to you, listen to your mind, your heart, and maybe someone you trust their advice, deduct, add and better it the best way you can ...and you will have the world on a platter.
Loved this quote the moment I set my eyes upon it,'" Just one more thing I ask you Lord, give me a heart full of gratitude,"
It has so much intensity to it, especially bringing out the word, gratitude.
Are we grateful to each and everybody in our lives, or selectively so.?
I am a big believer in gratitude as it puts everything into perspective and lets you see how you have arrived at your destination, surely not alone, there will always be, always, someone who would have helped you climb there where you are, insignificant as you may think but without that particular link you could not have made it.
The first thing we should stress upon doing is count our blessings..so many, so abundantly.. our thank you could never be enough
We have to be grateful for everything that has happened in our lives, be grateful for all the positive things and watch them multiply, and watch the unpleasant situations, people, or even events just disappear into thin air ! Yes, as easy as that....
If you think of the negatives, you will realise how they keep pulling you down, down and down, into a bottomless pit.
Many "successful" people I know are not grateful and I would not even for a nano second want to be part of their "successful " lives.
Try this little excercise, whenever you are having a hard day, and feeling down, sit around quietly for a few minutes and go through the things that you have been blessed with your health, your friends, your support system i.e. family, your neighbours etc., etc., Magically you will find your mood being lifted.
To me just like everything Gratitude is a state of mind that has to be constantly maintained.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
As we grow older we grow wiser , unlike our youthful days where we believed that we were invincible.
There comes a time when we begin to accept our purpose of being here.We increase in strength in our spirituality, and have mellowed down.
That has a lot to do age I believe. Wise old Man, With age comes wisdom.. these are often heard by us, and in many a case fit perfectly.to our situations.
Very often My Mum & Dad advice me on matters that they see so placidly, so faraway from what I have already decided to do. Their calming effect of words they speak make you realise that life has to be lived to be understood, that is forward, but understood backward and certainly like a puzzle the pieces fit in.
The pearls of wisdom our elders let us have so abundantly should be pondered upon, and lived by.
Listening to the lyrics of Karen Carpenter crooning the song"Mr.Postman"
The post man has almost gone off from our lives, he no more comes with a letter from our loved ones, or even a festive greeting card, or a birthday card was something we really looked forward to receiving as part of our celebrations.
I still remember the greetings cards were strung together around the room, on the day, added to the cheer !!!
But with progress comes a lot of good and bad change and life has to be lived, in the best possible way. We all love the way we can communicate in a nano second accross the continents, it is a wonder that we humans have achieved.
The constant beeping of our mobile phones and peeping into them is not so good, Yes, we have to get that job executed before midnight Surely we have lived without the phones for years before that.
I love my phone, it is just a balance of this and that, that we must caution ourselves.
I always check my mail (generally not over the weekends !) but it is not at the expense of spending my family time over the phone, net.
It was at a recent party that I noticed two babies, aged four and five, years, the whole afternoon had their fingers on their tablets, playing games all thru lunch, and mind you i peeped into one of theirs and they were doing it well too!
Where have all the litle boys gone ? their clothes dirtied with mud, their faces stained and their bruised knees ?
Hopefully we adults will guide our little ones, that the universe is such a beautiful place and being one with nature ..... nothing can come closer to the real thing.
Life always has so many options, the good, the not so good, the bad and not so bad, but we have to deal with all of this with a clear mind, and use our heads and not our hearts.
But does it really work that we use our heads in all our decisions, ? sometimes I tend to use my heart and know that I have goofed it up for myself(No one else is at stake here!)
Many a times when the kids were little and life was tough for them.i.e. all they wanted to do was play with their friends, and nothing could me pleasure than seeing happiness all over their faces.
Very often, it was "come on, get over with that work, project, chapter etc,and then only can you go down to play,"
Often, it was difficult to say those words, as I knew deep inside what I really wanted to give them.
a little bit of cheer, forget about the studies for that time, and just laugh, and run jump and scream,....... go babies go.
Having done this often, I would ask the kids, if they would sincerely pick up their unfinished tasks and do it, after their play,"Yes" was the fastest yes, I have ever heard.
During all of these experiences of mine i.e. dealing with my heart a little more than my head, I have found happiness within me, a feeling that is inexplicable, and to see the joy on the kids faces, their shoes muddied, their tees, messed up..lifted me up to know that I did well or rather my heart did well.
On the flip side, it cannot always be so, there are times, the head has to take over completely no heart here.
There was this vendor where I stopped to pick up a little knick knack, not a regular there, and had not see his face before, I picked up the brightest floor brush, and the change he gave me, was not right,
My heart took over me...completely.."let it go" "not too much to let go, come on!" that was what I was hearing my heart speak.
But my head said"No" "teach him the right way,"
So all said and done I told him he had to give me some more change to make the balance right.
He realised he could not get any further with his excuses and gave me the change.Like I mentioned very little, but surely after telling him kindly not to do so as he would loose a lot of his customers he would have realised it.
After that incident felt so much better that I did not mix up my emotions...
We have to have a balance of both, surely life gives us the options,
Thursday, June 19, 2014
We are always rushing around from one place to another, in our frenzy to get THERE... we miss out on so many wonderful sights that could change our lives, or touch our lives that area that needed to be spruced.
On my one such frenzied rush, I was at the bus stop out of compulsion, not choice waiting for a long long time
Besides the bus stop was a little boy and his sister she seemed to be the elder of them they were seated at the base of the tree, and both had little boxes of snacks, or maybe lunch.
They were waiting for the school bus to arrive, and by their conversation it seemed like their bus was late, the little boy was oblivious to all of this but his sister seemed concerned and watching the road
.
Little boy opened his box to snack on it, and his sister gave him a stern warning, only a minute later her tastebuds succumbed to the wonderful aroma of upma wafting all around, at that moment a skinny puppy too came around and wagging his tail, pleading for that wonderful smelling food he looked upon the kids and from that tiny box both the kids gave out of their own, something to marvel at something touched me ...to know that little kids and out of their goodness gave a little out of it. Wonderful !
Everywhere we go and if just, just look around we might see so many things that we usually miss out, in our rush.
Watch children at play, they are so innocent, no malice, no inhibitions, they are just there in that moment, teaches us adults to be childlike and enjoy ourselves.. I absolutely love to watch the kids play it kind of makes my head lighter.
Watch the birds how they care about their little ones, how they gather their food and with the food in their beaks, they come to the nest, but mind you not directly, they will take a roundabout route, to ward off any prying predator...just watch.
Lets stop for a while and take a deep breath... there we go... no rush, no push...
So many of us love to do or copy the neighbours, be it their TV or car or even their washing machines, every individual needs are different and vary from person to person. It is with research and communication that
we can really enjoy the pleasure of the washing machine that we have purchased, it is vital to know and ask ourselves a few questions, whilst buying : the topmost question that we have to answer is the budget that we have set apart for this important purchase,. There are different varieties of machines in the market, each one to suit ones needs, the front loaders and the top loaders, the fully automatic and the semi automatic,
the top runners are the front loaders and the top loaders, the top loader is less expensive BUT it uses a lot more water, the front loader is a little more expensive but it uses far less water and totally worth the money spent on it...paisa vasool, teamed with the right brand of soap they make a merry combination as this video shows us. Another point is that if our load is heavy, more washes means a larger machine and this should lead us to buy a slightly larger capacity machine dont we all know that time saved is money saved, so here we go...go ahead and make that all important purchase, think of the environment save water and use a good quality soap, Watch this video
Its always, "Come on kids, dont sit down on the mud," or "watch out
for that icecream cone," But why do we have to stress out so much, and
in the bargain spoil the simple pleasures that a child enjoys ! Why ?
there are so many solutions that surely would allow the kid to have "His cake and eat it too"
Its
the little things that matter to the kids, a roll in the grass, a
splash in the muddiest pond and the joy it brings upon their faces is a
thing to marvel. Let them kids have all the fun and the washing machines
that care of the stains, only it requires us to know the type of
stains, the video shows us how simple and uncomplicated we can make our
lives.
We really need to know the right settings for the stains
and the type of fabric that needs to be worked on, just do that ....sit
back and enjoy the exxxxtra time with the kids.
So here we are, the third important part of this video, To get a great wash out of your washing machine, we all know the importance of segregating the clothes heap, with the kids around it is always huge piles of clothes that we see for miles around the house, keep them into three piles: one of mixed clothes, one whites and the last of delicate fabrics,
The mixed pile will compromise of everyday clothes, and it needs to be set on the normal cycle.
The delicate pile will compromise of our cardigans, sweaters, light dupattas, our silk kurtas and our silk
cholis, the machine will adjust to the speed for these fabrics which will be slow and gentle
The white pile of clothes will go on a 60 degrees temperature(If your washing machine has this setting of temperature ) which will always keep the whites crisp and shinning white. Whites should always look white not grey or cream when we wear them.
Trust your machine and just go ahead and enjoy your time you have saved ...watch the videos and enlighten yourself on the various options that can make our life simple and uncomplicated......Anyone for a cup of coffee ?
"Here, here ," she said, and stretched out a tissue to help me with the stain and a gooey mess the crow had left upon my blouse, there was my sister(Thank God for sistas !!) helping me out and here was another angel who saw us and in a blink she was upon us with her wet wipes, saving the evening for me, the citrusy smell of her wipe stayed with me all evening.Thank you girl ! Have you ever experienced such random deeds of kindness ? where for no apparent reason a stranger comes and helps you out and Just......disappears ? many a times I have been helped out and it amazes me that,I too want to spread the kind deed and see a smile on the face, and Goodness me ! the feeling is inexplicable
I was waiting to cross over the extremely busy street, the traffic was crazy, and I stood patiently for maybe ten minutes or more just waiting to get across, not knowing that I had a taxi driver who was watching me.
Taxi driver walked to me and asked me if he could drop me, "No,thank you, its just on the other side", I said with my glance swiftly back on the traffic waiting for a chance to cross the road.
"No, Maam, I am going across to the petrol pump across and I can drop you,"all complete with a gentle smile.
I was touched with this kind gesture and all morning had a smile pasted on my face,
Just goes to show us that a tiny little deed done by us can make a strangers day.
The most common place that we can show our kindness is the bus, almost everytime I get a seat, there will someone who will be standing and deserves that seat more than you, and the smile and huge thank yous you get are enough to fill the soul.
An elderly woman who could barely walk was slowly making her way to the taxi, but his cab was occupied, dejected she turned around to see my husband, who told her to wait at that same spot, he went at the busy junction and came along in a taxi, the joy on the ladys face ....unbelievable. It warms the cockles of my heart to know that my kids too have learnt and mirror this, my daughter was so little when she was returning from school with her friend, and the streets were flooded all around, they took it upon themselves to reach a little girl from their school who travelled in their school bus, and could not find her way home with all the streets turned into one big ocean, they dropped her onto the other side of the pavement where she lived.
Many a times I see the kids, both passing on these deeds of kindness and it makes me realise that just a single act of kindness, can spread so much of cheer and happiness
These random deeds have a ripple effect and the goodness and cheer they bring upon an unexpected face.....BELIEVE ME, GO AHEAD, EXPERIENCE IT.
The faceless woman that we see on the roads, who is hurrying alongwith her bag slung over her shoulder, trying to race for the bus, or maybe that woman who is tagging her kids one hanging on each arm reaching them to the nearby creche, their temporary home for the day, or the one haggling with the vendor to save a penny or two.
Its these few examples of the women that I admire the most, so strong and so determined to get the home fires burning, to keep her family comfortable.
It is always a woman who stands by her family, and most of the times her man, she will always fight her battles, and at all costs see that the children get the very best she can afford.
My own maid, in her early years into marriage her husband became an alcoholic, he had a good job going as a ward boy with a top end hospital, he would down drinks till he could no more, and the wife would silently bear with his nonsense and tantrums, at times even giving him money to buy himself shoes.
I always had this feeling that she was unhappy, and one fine day, decided to ask her why she always looked so gloomy, she did not open immediately, and tried to put on a brave front like nothing happened, I let her be and after a couple of days finally broke her silence on the man who had made her life miserable and narrated her tale on how she tried to glue her whole family together.
She has three girls and one boy, all educated the boy a BCom graduate and working with a computer firm, the girl a data entry operator and the other two one a housewife and one working.
She has single handedly brought up the children the right way and taught them to fend for themselves.
Not one of them has followed her profession, and it makes me proud that I have just a wee part to play here.
Encouraging her, goading her and basically sympathizing with her, giving her a ear when she was down helped her a long way.
One fine day her husband was sacked from his 'plush' job, she got crazy at least that kept him out of her hair during his job hours. Can you believe what she did ? this tiny woman, who does not know to read.
She plucked up courage and went off to meet the top bosses of his department ,begging to give him one last chance, and she even gave them the option of taking on her son... hats off to this tiny woman.(He had been warned many times before he was sacked!), she walked in one evening dressed up better than other work days, and that is when she told me her courage and motivation that took her all the way to the bosses.
The end story nothing could be done to get back his job, But my heart goes out to this woman who did whatever she could to save things for the same man who had destroyed her happiness and peace.
She still works with me, a much settled woman as now her children are big and doing well for themselves the boy has even managed to buy a house in the surburbs for his family. All because of the strength of this tiny gutsy, woman.
I admire the woman despite all odds, who will never lie back and complain, instead pick up the pieces and join them to form a whole. She will always be One of my Heroes
Summer days are always associated with wonderful memories of the vacations we a family of five would enjoy !
An overnight journey by the bus, or on the rough seas would take us to our native place, and it would be a long, long holiday two whole, wonderful months of fun, making new friends and getting back with our old, and in terms of playing it was a different world out there.Nothing can compare.
We girls, would would enjoy the great outdoors to cook on a 'real' fire a broken unused pan on two large bricks and there was our imaginary fire cooking a merry curry sourced from the raw mangoes that were so easily available or even the raw jackfruit that had fallen down.
Sometimes an evening would see us fishing at the river, here we were with our home made fishing lines, instead of bringing in the catch we had driven them all away with our incessant giggling, talking and cheer !
Come the evening and we would go picking carvanders on the OH ! so beautiful hills disturbing the serene and peaceful surroundings with our giggling and cackling( and you know how girls do that !)
The warm nights we would go to the nearby river and just laze back...just relax on our back and many a time wish on a shooting star above...What a wonderful time our parents gave us, in their own caring ways, they would take us to the nearest town that was 14 kms away from our place.
That was a huge 'journey' to leave our house at four we had to ready ourselves at three as the walk along tedious to the tiny one-horse bazaar bus stop, and then wait for the bus to chug along packed to the rafters, with not a place for a wafer out there, BUT we five managed to get in...
I still remember the evenings playing with our cousins the wonderful game of our childhood 'Hide & Seek'
what made this game extraordinary was the time of the day, we would decide to play it. The night in the village with all its eerie shadows and sounds made it exciting and OH ! there we were stumbling upon a branch and giving ourselves away. The back yard of our house would be so dark, and so eerie there were miles and miles of fields stretched till we could see no more, the night made it a playground for the foxes and the wild dogs.
I still remember on the far side of the fields there used to be a tiny house and in those days electricity was not so common, this particular house always had a faint flickering light and my childish mind was overdosed on the famous five, and I could imagine a rustle in the bushes.
My imaginary mind, went haywire and so, one night I stayed awake to watch that flicker as I thought it was a signal to some 'smugglers'like the famous five did.Nothing ever happened the people in the house just put out the light and went off to sleep and so did I.
Oh ! give me back those days, I know they never will, but surely I have wondeful memories to live on.
She always has her eyes peeled, and transfixed on all things mine. It is such a pleasure to know that you are "her model' in all things she does she always looks up to me, be it the eyeliner I wear or maybe she has her ears all around her, when a crucial decision has to be taken.
We are the mirrors to the childrens souls.
As a kid she would strut around in my shoes, and I did not ever have the heart to get her out of them, there was an old pair of shoes that were beyond use, and I had kept it for her.
Even this day she mirrors me, in everything,
Of course she has her own mind and thought process, that which one cannot ever follow the other.
I see a lot of me in her in my youthful days
Its wonderful to see that the clock has turned back the time.
It took tremendous effort on my part to just shut my "Big Mouth" as my mum always calls it.
He was screaming and yelling, and jumping and flinging his tiny arms in the air, mind you his mother was right beside him and she was in a different zone, she was so placid and calm, and totally disconnected from the Happenings.
The place was a holy one, and no sort of noises were made, if it could be helped, and here she stood right besides this brat and let him have his way, leaving him to disturb a whole lot of people praying and meditating
My hands were itching me to get that 6-year old child to behave appropriately, that too in public.
Nothing happened, brat still yelped and mother still ignored. The service finished off, and a lot of people gave her tough stares, I wondered if I was a silent spectator to something wrong that was happening, and deep within myself I know I should have gently told the mother to stop that brat from disturbing,most of the times, its the parents who need the correction first....... I too had joined the herd .
When I think of this particular instance, I do regret and would have liked to stand apart from the herd, which most of the times I do and of course I have my fair share of troubles for that BUT, that is a small price to pay for the peace within knowing well, that I have excersised that what was right.
The Summer vacations have just begun,the sounds of children playing excitedly, screaming and running, are really music to my ears.
Love it that they enjoy the great outdoors, are passionate about building a tiny rock garden(all made with pebbles) and enjoy the cycle races along the length of the compound, which we are very fortunate to have in a place where space is a huge issue.
Two tiny kids, were struggling to get together some mud to cover an small anthill, and did it well, only to discover that the ants have somehow found their way. the other end of the soil.
We as parents always have a dream to follow, but in all of this we must remember that the dream should be the childs and not ours alone,, in our eagerness to carve out a successful future for our child, we must not
pressure them out, nudge them towards what they like, and kindly goad them in right direction
Let the kids enjoy their vacations and have their fun, no this and that for them,
My kids were really happy to have their vacations, as it meant going out with them to the places they enjoyed the most, the cinemas, just walking alongwith them and answering their innumerable questions, was a pleasure, I will always cherish.
The kids will always treasure the memories, we too have our share of wonderful childhood memories that we hold so close to our heart.
Definately not what you guys are thinking about the title, it isn't a moist chocolate cake slice, neither a gooey brownie, OH NO! not that delicious mango, but just a gratifying feeling that I experienced whilst stretching out my finger, just imagine, if we give ourselves to help out, it would mean the whole of heaven and not just a measly slice.
She was sitting all alone, lost in her thoughts, she did not know a thing that was happening around her, her body language told it all.. her tightlips, her fingers, pressing against one another, and her face, a total emotional mess.
What cold have been the problem ? Within myself i knew I had to answer my conscience and not let her go that way, all alone, so with a prayer on my lips I asked her "Are you alright? feeling well,?" the second part of my question just rolled out perhaps out of a fear, that I might be rejected, anyway which way I got my answer"A little unwell," from then onwards, the conversation was loaded with an emotional burst, a heart that was broken, and a trust that was trampled upon.
She was all of 23 years, and life was tough on her, she had learnt that a broken heart could not be healed, (Thats what she believed)
She had married much against her parents wishes, and left home and hearth for him, a blissful three years of marriage and she thought her world would never ever come crashing around her.
She seemed economically sound, and her tough exterior belied her tender compassionate self.
The first sign of mistrust was the cliched excuse"working late tonight" she totally believed him, until one day, the friends he was supposed to be working with late at night,tried to surprise them, by asking them both out to the movies...it was then on things starting to fall apart, showed the cracks and very visibly.
Fast forward, to a year later and there she was faced with a abusive husband, many of her friends told her to register a complain, she had her own reasons for not doing so, nonetheless she survived the humiliation, pain, torture and with the help of her few friends, she left him for good.But did he bother to even call her once ?
She was living as a PG close to her workplace and tried many a times to get in touch with her parents, who chose to forget they had a daughter.
The few true friends she had tried to play peacemakers and build the burnt bridge between her and her parents, they managed to make contact and last known about her, she was living with her parents Happy? not too sure, Safe YES.
How foolish are we that we walk away from the very ones who brought us into this world ? how reckless are we to trust our lives, even we have been pointedly shown what is not ?Heaven came in the way of that feeling, I had when I advised her how to go about her life, and she had tears in her large empty eyes, I had seen her around my place, and she found me familiar hence opened up her broken heart.
I loved it that she listened without interruptions, and told me "I was thinking that this would be the last sunset I was watching, until this moment THANK YOU,"
Have you often observed the body language of people at social-dos ? One of the best places to see the fakes from the reals....including their bags.
There is he Mr.Tight Pants, struggling so hard to keep up with the grip the pants have on his personality, and trying OH, so subtly to hide it, notice he tries to sway his legs, in a hope that the grip would loosen.
There he is Mr.Rubber Man, on the floor and zoom, that was two flips he did in one beat.I wonder if he has any control over his body, Oh no, there he goes again, doing the snake dance and he does it well, he seems to have a large audience, and seems quite pleased.
The Eternal Fool, who seems to think that wearing the deo, that he sees in the ads, he will draw the ladies, watch him chat that PYT she has just walked away, poor man, has to pick his jaws up.This man, would do anything for a lady, just anything and watch him now... he has managed to latch on to another pretty one, and yes, she is all smiles, I wonder if he has met his true love,
Miss beautiful, and it stops there ! she cant hold a conversation, all the time, nodding her beautiful mane, suddenly the hero has asked her a question, and she is still nodding ..sic..sic.
The Gossip Queen, she has her eyes on The beautiful one, seems to be envying her curves, her looks give her away, talking in hushed whispers to her friend, they seem to be regulars at these events,..Thank God for her dormant mind,she knows nothing.
.The Drama Queen is Oh so attention seeking that the more eye balls she attracts, the happier she is "Oh dear Ravi, havent seen you in ages," shouting above the crescendo of the music, and a hundred eyeballs are on her...Happy is THE QUEEN.
Watch him gulp his drink, in a blink of an eye he has gulped one too many, and he seems to be telling the bartender ,"Its one for the Road,"he is The Bottomless Glass
The Butter pot she seems to be quite an experienced hand at this, latches on to anyone who she thinks would give her career a zoom !, this one is known to be a small time model.And at any given time at any given party she has oddles of butter.
A whole range of characters make up this world,Life surely would not be the same without them.They add the zest to life..love it..... live it....Life Likes That.
The happiness people find is amazing in whatever sphere of life, one always finds their HAPPY PLACE.
My visits to the vegetable market is an experience in itself, besides the exotic vegetables and fruits and their country cousins, it is with awe that I watch the happiness on the vendors faces, the light flirtations they have amongst themselves and the connect with each other is a little lesson I have learnt
They tend to the baskets of their produce with utmost care and love, wiping each and every one with a cloth, polishing the apples, till they can blush no more, the glow of the red and yellow peppers makes a sunny day even brighter, the humble green pumpkin (humble no more, check out the price!) has a lovely shade of green to it.
The vendor knows his flock, ask him if his produce is fresh, he kind of gets offended"What did you say?"
He is always willingly to chat with his regulars, and make new ones too, The push and shove are part and parcel of this morning rush in the bazaar, but the way the vendors are connected to each other is a story in itself, just a scream or a shout and a wave of a hand to the other side of the bazaar and he knows he has to transport some carrots quickly to this end to give the waiting customer.
Its always a 'Changing' story they are ever willing to lend out all the notes of loose change to help out their brothers who are haggling with a customer.
Very rarely do you see impatient ones, I had the experience of one such person, I picked a bundle of kotmir, as I was searching in his basket for a non flowering one, vendor saab flew into a fit, and asked me to take what he gave me, naturally I was upset and just walked away, but not without saying my bit to him, telling him how impolite he was and how he should allow his customers to choose, not that vendor saab cared too much with my walk away, I choose not to buy from him, my silent way of protesting.
The happiness that I have witnessed is really wonderful, wonderful to know that whatever place they maybe, (I have written about this in my previous blogs), in a bus, in a train, or even in the saabzi mandi, people find their HAPPY PLACE
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
- Paulo Coelho
So many motivational thinkers have always said the same, Our minds can be made to do just anything we wish.We just have to will it, and think we can, the moment we think we cannot ...from then on it is downwards.
How do we do this ? we must visualize the end result what we really want, and train our minds to look in that direction. As easy as this ? No, definately not so easy, but not impossible
How do I begin to follow this exercise ? we all know how are minds are overloaded with information that we do not really need, some of this information, maybe negative thoughts that we have stored. We have to empty our minds, rid ourselves of this trash, clear the cobwebs and leave a clear, free space for our fresh positive thoughts.
Most of the success stories that we read of are people, who had BIG Dreams, and nearly always started from scratch. Leave the opinions of others alone, look within yourself, and the answer will be there within you.
My mother always told us as kids, whatever we do, do it to the best of our ability. I was acting in a play as bunch of flowers, the main part had gone to the pretty girl, At that time, I was upset, and that was when she said"Be the best flower that one has seen," this has always stayed with me, and always, worked for me.
You could ask the people who have been on that journey or ask people coming from that road that you want to go, ask "How did you do that ?"
Be clear in your thinking about what you want, clarity gives you the power to step towards your goal. There may be times, when nothing seems to be happening, do not be dismayed, do not despair, mainly do not give up your dream, instead remember,
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it will achieve.the more you think about it, the more you focus around it...IT WILL HAPPEN."
Have you ever felt like a million spears hitting you where it hurts the most ? It really hurts, but we cant let go our love for the one responsible for this hurt.
It happens with everyone we love the most, the kids,the spouse, the family, and something in us will not let us hurt back.
However much I try to retaliate, it just wont let me, so I exercise my mind to go into a deep blank spot, and try and focus around the issue, instead of how it happened ? or what did I say ? nothing is more calming than a cleared up mind that focuses on doing a detour on the problem, try and go around it and you will see that you have arrived at a brand new road, a new solution, and from then you will never look back.
These are opportunities that we are pushed into to get on in life, so lets take it upon us, and go .. go .. go
"The kids have grown so fast," is the usual remark, someone makes, when they see them after a long time.
But have they really ? For us, they will always be 'Little children"
Yes, we do have to let them grow, and lead their own lives, but deep down they should be secure in the knowledge that they have our support.My parents, were always there for us, during our kids growing up years. A late evening at the office and there were my kids who were looked after by my parents, all washed, fed and kept ready to be tucked in for the night.
Our care for them, even as they grow up into adults, and our concern about the little blimps that they pass through makes a lot of difference, in terms of their emotional security. It really does not matter how anyone views our concern, so long as they are indepedent and we give them their space.
I have a friend who had taken his daughter and her husband under their wings after they went into a huge financial loss, especially that the girl, had eloped with her now husband, I think that was a magnanimous act on the part of the parents.
Nothing should stop us in always being concerned about our kids and of course whats happening in their lives.
I always love that phonecall where my mother chatters to me and realise how blessed I am, I feel so wanted and loved.
So dearies, make it a point to show concern, to inquire and of course that phone call will mean a lot.
I Was watching the two kids, around 5- 7 year olds, playing around whilst their mother prepared their dinner.
They lived on the pavements outside a posh apartment and I was waiting for my friend.
Just seeing them giggling and pushing (Yes, there was hardly any place to push ) but nevertheless they were having their share of fun, giving me too a happy sunny smile
Occasionally their mother leaned towards their direction and gave them a stern warning, I guess she told them to be wary of the vehicles around the place.
The children had a broken toy and a soft toy, on a chair there besides them lay a couple of text books probably their school books, mother was humming a tune, and also making an occasional comment to her 'neighbour.'
The kids seemed to be happy with whatever was theirs, happy with their broken toys, and a warm meal for the night.
What a feeling of guilt that was for me, that evening, they had so little but were the happiest ones I have seen in a long long time.
What does it take to make us all happy and content ? we must look around and then it will dawn upon us, how fortunate we are.
It is totally up to us to be the way we are. So lets dwell on the little things, and look around for happiness, its not too far.. a smile, a touch or maybe a warm hug.
PLAY IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF RESEARCH
- Albert Einstein
We all know how children love the great outdoors. Give a child the choice of being indoors or playing oudoors, they would definately opt for the latter. Children as we all know, are spontaneous - they do not keep back or analyze what they have to say.
Have you ever watched a child at play in a park, or even in a little puddle of water that the rains have caused? He is all absorbed in his play, swinging on the swings, looking for that push to feel... for just a second like a bird soaring. See the kids splash around in that puddle, unaware of the germs or dirt in it. At times like these i too feel like jumping along with them - we all have a child hidden within us, and do hope we never lose that. What about that little kid who has just had a fall off the slide? She now knows that she must go up the slide the right way. Every little experience, good or bad, teaches them.
In the documentary, the little boy is pasting himself with mud. Watch the ecstasy written all over him, the joy and the mess he has created for himself is all about having fun.The kids seem to enjoy being the kids they they are surely having fun, "To learn we have to get dirty," quotes one little kid. SO TRUE !!!
I always believed, when my kids got home, the dirtier they were, the more they enjoyed themselves, mudstained clothes, clods of earth on their shoes, and not forgetting the largest inhabitants of this earth, the ants, they would have so many ant bites as they were always curious to watch the ants carry their food into the nests and once they nearly broke a mini ant nest.
Many a times, they would take their waterbottles with them, only to come back and tell us, that they have grown a mango seed in the soil and have watered it, with that water, so "Mom, in a few months we will be able to eat mangoes," with their huge eyes and blabber that could melt any mothers heart. (I, of course, melted completely) They took me to see their "mango sapling" and could not believe as the earth was all dug up and no sign of any mango seed, at that time they realised that they had to shelter the seed away from the dogs around the place. They had learnt the hard way, but they would never ever make that mistake.It's not so much what the kids learn through play but what they wont learn if we dont give them that chance to play.
After an outdoor play session, notice how happy the child is, his talking can go on forever, how the goalie should have saved the ball this way had he not been dreaming,
Every face of the children who live in the city tell a tale, the longing of space, and the freedom that their inner selves long for.Like the girl who is riding the bike to get to school in the documentary shows us, how happy she is although going to school.
The great outdoors seen through the eyes of a child can never be the same for adults, the childs imagination runs wild here, he sees shadows lurking behind the cars and together with his gang of friends and all armed with fallen branches they try and captures the imaginary enemy. The little girl places a flower in her hair, and preens, like she is a Queen. Many a times, I have watched the kids play below my window,and have noticed how they enjoy stoning at "that" guava and after it was down, they would all take bites (still cant figure out how tiny each bite was,) but nonetheless they seemed to be enjoying the camaraderie.
Recently there was a dead sparrow, and who could have spotted it first but of course the kids, who are always looking for adventure. Their beady eyes missing nothing, saw it and the eldest of them just a teeny weeny 7 year old, decided to bury the little bird, he called his friends, all smaller than him and dug a pit, put in the bird, and covered it up with a mound of mud, and all left with a sense of solemnity. I was intrigued, these little 7 to 5 year olds had shown their love and respect for the little bird, in narrating this, would like to say that being in the outdoors gave them this opportunity.
We parents must know that besides their academic scores which is important as their play, everything needs a balance in life, unbalanced kids can be a nuisance to society and ultimately, tiresome adults, so the responsibility lies on us parents and our ability to help them balance work and play.The children in this documentary are so stressed leaves them no time to enjoy the great outdoors, physical excersise would be nothing compared to the mental stress that they go through.The boy clearly say"favourite part of the day is, when I play with my friends,"
In the words of L.R.Knost," “For a child, it is in the simplicity of play that the complexity of
life is sorted like puzzle pieces joined together to make sense of the
world.”
Dr.Ashok Jansari, in this documentary, stresses on the balance between academics and play, he states that going out and playing is an opportunity the children alongwith having fun, and how we parents must see that we they get their dose of outdoor play, he stresses that all their inner skills develop at a young age when they have been exposed to this "form" of learning.
My theory has always been fusing work with play, as you walk along the garden teach them colours of the flowers, show them the birds nests, mango blossoms, the cuckoos and the crows, the cycle and the motorcycle.
What a wonderful experience it is just being with the little ones,
their eager eyes grasping every little thing that passes by and their
ears taking in every sound of the wind or the whistle of the mynah.
“Go and play. Run around. Build something. Break something. Climb a tree. Get dirty. Get in some trouble. Have some fun.”
She was always fishing for compliments, and loved the people who fluffed up her false ego.
The moment she was told the truth she turned into a fireball, angry, eyes a slit, and totally out of control
Let me give you a brief on this lady. Being the only child of her parents and especially born after a long long time, with hands joined the parents had begged the Almighty for this precious, she grew up like any other kid was unaware of her priviledged life, but the years that she began to understand that she was "special' in all ways, that was the time she began her journey into being the spitball she is today.
From time to time, her parents were made aware of the way she was behaving, her disrespect towards the elders, her brashful ways to her companions and her wasteful ways...But did they heed ? NO, they just said"Oh we have been blessed with an angel"
That was the beginning to the end of this beautiful girl, she was lovely to look at and am sure like most human being had a lot of good within as well, only it had to be dug deep within.
A few years into her teenage years she fell onto the wrong side of the roads, drugs, alcohol abuse, loads of moolah, and no correction from parents ..
One day I bumped into her mother, who looked a shadow of her former self, she burst into tears the moment she saw me, I could not leave her in such a condition on the road and hence decided to sit in a tiny place for a cup of coffee where she told me and poured her heart out how sorry she was for that mistake of not correcting the angel and how she had gone, the parents incidentally did not know where she was presently.She said she was feeling much better after her download and left me with a huge feeble hug.
Years later, it was known that the Angel was in rehab, do not know what happened with her life after that, but surely the parents were on the other side waiting for her, and ready to love her unconditionally.
An adorable little cherub, and the mother was so proudly carrying the little boy, all dressed in his fancy clothes, he was the apple of his parents eyes was evident.
