Nov.02, in Christian Circles is a day dedicated to "All Souls Day", and the whole family was present at the firt mass 0700 am,,, the waking up and getting dressed to go, was a nightmare.
Finally having found our way to the cemetery, and waiting for the priest to start,( for me the clock did not seem to move), finally a short homily and the final blessing the mass came to an end. Meeting a lot of people in and around the parish a hello here a goodbye there.
We went to visit our family grave, wherein my husbands mother and father were laid to rest.
What a different world we walked into once we stepped into the cemetery, the truth really really hits you, death is permanent and no escape from it, the atmosphere was sober, candles all over the place, flowers decorations what a wonderful sight, was kind of sorry for not getting some pics of the beautiful creations in flowers and candles,If there was a prize dedicated for the best dressed grave"Tough one" there would have to be more than one"First"
The husband, kids and me, could not thank our parents enough for the wonderful legacy they have left behind, in terms of relationships, love and compassion. Their goodness they have sowed is here for us to reap and harvest the fruit of which we are enjoying...Thank you Mum and Dad ...
Was glad the little adults could get to see where their paternal grandparents are, they were very little when they passed away, and do have faint and kind memories of their grandmother, their , grandfather passed when the boy was an infant.
My daughter particularly remembers her elegance, the way she sat she ate, her mannerisims and all they have and think about them is good, dont we too have to go the same way / do good, let the generation reap the fruits of the goodness you have sowed... Lets spread happiness, peace and let our faith grow and show.....

Nothing can take us back in time, but surely spending time with "Those sweet" memories can make a world of change.
I absolutely love the recently aired Airtel Ad,"Har Ek friend ka jaroori hota hai",
the chaos in the classroom, the clown of the class and the feeling of closeness to your friends, open secrets, anxious moments, just anything that an 18 year old felt was there to be talked about with friends ... that is one phase of your life that surely we must have all cherised.those beautiful moments
I for sure did. I remember a particular professor who was meek and timid, would be afraid to even quieten the class, and the "Dadas" self professed ones, would try and make it worse, fortunately the professor left the college for better prospects, and just as well.
The clown of the class was a huge boy, absolutely crazy would stake his own self respect to make the class laugh and the moment he was absent, things would not be so happy for all.
There was this little girl, very cute and the class almost treated her like their own as we knew she was away from home.
Lovely moments, the camera would never be able to capture, as well as the mind can.
It was a beautiful mix of little adults and it was over even before we wanted it to ....Moved on to another phase of life, and am happy I have these and more beautiful memories to cherish.

My eyes welled with tears. It was an emotionally charged homily and the priest did a wonderful job. He managed to stir that part of ones soul, where sometimes we tend to let it sleep.
In christian circles, 26th July is dedicated to Parents Day, one day(At least) in the year where we are supposed to prayer, and make our parents happy, How many of us give them a thought in our busy lives ?
I for sure could never ever do without our parents support and guidance, right from bringing up the kids to nursing them back to health, from running around with me for their admissions they have been there every step of the way.
And it is not only on Parents Day that we must pray but every night in our prayers ask The almighty to take care of them, every step of their way.
We have to thank them for bringing us out into this world, and make them happy for doing so. Its only natural to have, a grouse or two, we are all human, but it ends there dont carry it around for the rest of your life.
Isnt it far better a bunch of roses that they can smell now instead of laying it out on a cold stone, and words and eulogies that mean nothing, could mean the world if they were alive ? Yes, snap out and do it NOW.
Let the words flow, and so too the hugs, let love reign ...The fourth commandment :
Honour thy Mother and Father.Do this and watch Peace take over your life. Our parents, cannot think of what we would be without them. Happy Parents Day Mom & Dad.XXXX + OOOO

Woke up bleary eyed, hoping the alarm was not mine, had to go to pick up our parents at the station, the husband and me went off both trying to rub the sleep off our eyes.
Settled into a comfortable position after making enquiries regards"our" train. To be up so early in the morning,is part of a routine for most people, the city really does not sleep, of course 0430 am in the morning by the citys standard is hardly early, half of the population is on their way to work, and the other half helping them to get there.
The station was a beehive of activity, the emotions, the goodbyes, the welcomes, the haggling everything was there for us to see, all on a single canvas.
A huge family disembarked,and seemed lost, gave me an impression that they were looking out for a member to welcome them, the disappointment on their faces as they searched the station, and then suddenly he(apparently the head of the family)squealed in delight at the sight of him, conveying to the rest of his clan,in a language I could not understand(His actions explained it to me)"He is there, hey hey(hands frantically waving ) look here, we are all here", and then, the chaos within their group the hugs the embraces, everything that said"Welcome"...
On the other side, a young couple that had traveled long distance and looked very much in need of a hot bath and some steaming coffee, were in the middle of a heated argument, a bag thrown on the platform, and their backs facing each other, conveyed what a long tiring journey, can do, fray ones nerves.
This little incident took my heart away two senior citizens, traveling long distance and the amount of luggage said it all, they were going for long.Haggling with the porter to lower the fee, the porter a kind hearted soul conceded to their request, the elderly man had all the bags on him and the lady was walking freely, the porter, like i mentioned a kind hearted soul, was guiding them thru the hustle and the bustle, which was really so nice.
So many thoughts kept passing thru my head, as busy as people maybe, they always have time to stretch out for another. A tiny little girl, who refused to walk, the length of the platform, was sobbing, her parents were loaded with bags all over them, a gentleman came over and helped the baby get into the mothers arms(best place ever!)...
Suddenly the loudspeaker making the announcements, and the husbands nudge, brought me into what we had really come for... Lovely to see my parents after almost two months...Welcome to Mumbai, hugs kisses, embraces, and the non-stop chatter mum and me were into was clear to see how much we missed them......

There are times when you know you have to walk away, and times when you know you have to run,...Kenny Rogers says it best in his "Coward of the County" there are also those times when you know that you are right and still have to shut up. Oh yes, like in my previous blogs I have written "Zip-lock" method, thats the real thing to avoid any sort of snowballing effect for an argument.
It does not matter, who is right or who is wrong, none will be awarded the certificate for this, but at the end of it all you and only you know that you have averted a huge argument what might have turned into something bigger.
We all know what happens in that split-second of an angry moment, we have read simple arguments turning into tragedy and the murderer confessing how a simple request for a hot meal and an argument got his hands bloodied... yeah, so simple .. Lets take total control of our emotions and not let our emotions become our master.
There goes, I have a lump in my throat and will not ...
I have written and dont mind, penning once again, no one wins an argument, just zip lock and clear the air much much later if you have to or else just thrash it... worth the price....

She looked radiant in her white flowing gown,symbolising purity of her innocent soul. It was her first with Christ and HE was entering her heart, an important day for all Catholics.Her parents and brother were beside her and watching her every move.
Its was a nice evening of friends and well wishers and a little girls dream to wear the "Bridal gown"
Dancing away on the dance floor and she was oblivious to the admiration she got.
My mind raced back to my BIG DAY, and how beautiful the feeling is for a little girl,
Aunts, Uncles, and cousins were part of a lunch party we had at home and still remember the blue dress my mum stitched to be worn at lunch, My communion gown was lovely and as was the tradition we had to click a picture of us receiving the Holy Eucharistic with the cut-out of Jesus, I still remember the famous photographer P.Gomes, adjusting my veil and me smiling away .... The camera never lies, that was evident in my pose and overall.
May the little girls faith grow with each day, and get stronger with each passing hour.

The Easter vigil ended on a beautiful note, literally well sung by our church choir."WE SEE CHRIST"
Hugs, kisses, and "looking lovely" all in order.
The Eucharistic Celebration beneath the stars was breathtaking,it was lovely.
The smell of perfume and suits that came out last at Christmas smelt of mothballs.
The next day was a day we decided to dedicate to our families, totally, unconditionally, and believe me, the visits were worth every aching muscle of mine.
The smiles on the faces, the hugs the kids got, some of our aunts had last seen them in school, and the "Thank you for coming"
My husband and me had decided to do this at Christmas, did not happen,somehow we all managed to get ourselves together and had a lovely afternoon lunch at our neices quaint cottage and what a wonderful day it was....
May HIS face always shine upon you...Happy Easter.

The season of Lent it is all about emerging a new person after a 40 day introspection of oneself.
Symbolic to the chick emerging ... (Easter Egg)
A long, deep look within ourselves, and we all realise that we are no angels, and that the finger that you pointed at someone,look carefully, there are three more pointing back at you.
What can we do to make ourselves better people ? dont take too big a bite, small baby steps that you can manage and do that well, which in turn will motivate you to extend your goodwork.
Make it a point to always realise that just as we think we are always right, the other side too thinks the same.. so who is right and who is wrong ? think logically it is not about wining or losing, its about coming midway and making both A & B happy.
During my younger days, I realised that it was always a better situation when both of us were happy be it sharing a box of chocolates when the number was odd,the choice of a movie, everything settled amicably was a lovely feeling, and I have always tried the same method, >Believe me !
Reconcilation, with your neighbours, friends, and near and dear ones,... many of us say"Oh, I am fine, it is he/she who will not shake a hand" if you are fine, take that all important step towards patching your relationship up, and say a "Hello" shake a hand, unburden yourself, you will feel wonderful...even better than the best work out..Believe me !
It is always nice to tell a person if he hurt you, how hurtful his words to you were, as soon as possible instead of a wound festering and rotting. A lot of misunderstanding can be cleared as most of the things that we think were said were never meant that way and quickly the matter is sorted and apologies are handed out, which is a wonderful way...Have tried this out too ! Believe me.
A long gaze, a deep look can help us live our lives simply, without complications, and a clear conscience is the softest pillow....Believe me.

The recent article in the newspapers where the mother threw her kids and herself to death ( two of them)from atop a building terrace was horrifying. The pictures in the papers shows a lovely peaceful happy family the kids like all little children look so happy to be sitting in moms arms(The best place to ever be in !) and it was at this point that my mind went on to say "GOD why did she have to do it ?"" "What makes one so gutsy, to know that death is just a nano second away ?"
I am a mother of two grown up little adults and no doubt from time to time there are pressures which come from different quarters, a silly remark that at one point of time could be ignored may at that time spurn you to do irrational things. How do we control this illogical happening ?
Many a time a quarrel between us has sent me sulking, sometimes it has me on my guard and so to say"Giving it back" there are times when I just ziplock my lips and keep reading, and at other times I try smile and try and gently reason out .(Here the effort to do this is huge !)
In all of my "ACTS" the one that I have found the best is the "ZIPLOCK" method..Let the storm pass, This too shall pass comes to my mind and surely it does. But just how do we get there.
Rash thoughts do come to 0nes mind, but I do not entertain them. Pray, move away from the chaotic situation, take a walk, read if your mind allows you to do so(Mine does not allow me to focus)and if you cannot, help it involve the family .. which is the strongest column of our relationship.
In every phase of my life I look back and realise that my family have always been there for me, a sick child ..my mum and dad are up there, my sister who lives next door to me, is just a door bell away.
I clearly remember during the deluge mumbai faced not too long ago, my mum and dad were ready to go and look for the kids bus... but where do they go ? it was something straight from their hearts but we never let it happen. Of course the kids took an absolute long and winding road home but Thank God They were safe.
Many a time just mulling over the problem also has reaped good results.
My formula for this would be : If one of us can control the situation, as in remain quite, it does not matter who is right or wrong, as long as rash actions are not taken, in the heat of the moment, after the "Storm" has passed sit together quietly and settle the issue, here too do not use provocative language (You must remember the wound will be raw !)try and eliminate the I..." I want you to change and become a less angry person", sounds much better if we use "We should both change and become better people"
Like I have mentioned earlier there are no winners or losers here, the idea is to heal the hurt, and no better balm than kindness and love, and then the ultimate solution lies there right in those lovely arms.They can always go round in a warm hug.
For sure this works... this has been proved and tested.... so go ahead ...Choice is yours!!!!

Can we forgive easily ? Can we let our hurt rest ? Can we ... can we... a jumble confused mind,
And I realised that it is not so easy to forgive... a lot of hurt that people have caused can be got off, if not today definately tomorrow, all it needs is a willing heart and an open mind.
I for sure, try and make things easy for myself after a hurt. "Just Leave it,!" I keep telling myself and things will sort out. I kind of like to believe that it never existed, but deep within me, I know there is that raw wound that on touching will hurt, so I move away till I feel a wee bit better
.
When my heart is willing and mind is open,I sort my mind, I broach the topic and this has made me feel better many a time.
Like I have written, it is not easy, But truly it is not impossible.

Just watching her do her face in the mirror, sends me back in time. Similar poses, similar searching for compliments, just everything about her. And then the lovely hit song by Billy Joel"Isn't she lovely, Isn't she beautiful....." keeps going on in my head.
I too was just an eighteen year, and life was so beautiful, no worry, no care, knowing that parents were there to take care of every little tension and bother, of course like every eighteen year old, wants were always more than needs. My mother is an emotionally very strong lady.With Dad out at sea most of the year, she had to manage the household and us three kids, times were tough, money was not easy to come by and mum had to play a dual role that of a mother and father, sometimes a counsellor too .
There were times when Mum would wait for a letter or some form of communication from my dad at sea, maybe a colleague sailing into mumbai or a simple 'Inland' letter. Just the sight of the postman entering the building and my mum would beam...only to hear him go by. Life was tough; at times, my Dad arrived ahead of his already posted letter.
To think of times,now and how easy it has made life, we can now watch each other, across the continents, know whats cooking in the pot and what we are wearing for the party tonight.
I tell the kids, the above facts that i have documented and how much easier it now is.
The girl asks me, "Mum, did you not have a phone? Was TV all in black and white ?"
TV serials like "The Invisible Man" and "Star Trek" were something that we kids really looked forward to. Even the melodious, "Chhaya Geet" anchored by the chirpy Tabassum was really looked forward to.
Hard days, but never for a single moment can i say i did not enjoy even those times.
i clearly remember a letter coming from my dad to say that he would be home for Christmas, months ahead of Christmas.... a month to go still no news, then finally a phone call to say that he would not be able as he did not find someone to relieve him.
Total disappointment for us all, but my Mum took on and went on to make all the sweets as we would always do ... dad will come, maybe not for christmas and there we had a lonely christmas but a happy one.
So many instances remind me of our childhood days.
The kids are such wonderful little adults and realise that we are truly blessed to be so fortunate be it in advancement of communications, transportation, education just any place its a wonderful world right now and i'm lovin it

They held their hands, and tenderly led each other on the road.They were a little ahead of me.
This was no ordinary couple, they were both blind, and just like any other, they too were in love, they could not "gaze" into each others eyes, but for certain the hands locked, were a visible sign of their affection.they were happily chatting and something in the couple, made me realise how blessed we are to have every little finger in its place, and still there are times when i groan and grouch for silly things as much as the newspaper coming in late.
There are lessons to be learnt at every turn on our way but do we get to them ?
Here was this couple who was surely, truly, doubly blessed, as inspite of them not being to enjoy the visions of sight, were "oblivious" to the people walking on the road, it was just like they two existed.
They gently led each other and walked on their way to work, the red and white cane tapping the pavement. The people at the junction who were crossing, guided them to the safety of the other side, where they went off chatting and laughing at a private joke. what a sight to behold !!!
Love knows no language, no caste, no creed.

There she was all dressed up in bridal finery, every little girls dream, but this time it was for real, it was such a beautiful sight. There was total confusion in the room, people spilling all over the place, waiting for the photographer to call us in, for the photoshoot with the bride.
Words cannot describe the heaviness of ones heart as one has to part with the "little girl" knowing well that she has to bloom where she is planted... or thats the way we believe, to start their own lives and blossom, nurture a brand new family and all that.
In this case, it was my little neice, who we had held a few hours after her birth.
And to see her so happy going off with the one she loves is a satisfying feeling and kind of sets one free of the heaviness, as thats the way I wanted to believe.
The wedding festivities flew off in a tizzy and our trip to Goa was a beautiful dream.
God Bless the young couple and wish them a world of happiness, peace and Joy.