Sometimes its seems getting two people to see eye to eye ... especially when they have a past history of not doing so ... is a mammoth task... or at least was a mammoth....
Let me just call them A & B for reasons best known to us. everything is factual except for their names.
Every little word A spoke was sieved, twisted, turned flipped, and then sent forward. Similarly B dissected the forwarded word and back it went. We could sense the tension in the room, which was so thick we could get a slice of it, and back and forth it was going like we were watching a table - tennis championship.
Even if we tried to intervene and sort things out they kind of did not like us trying to make peace, they seemed to be enjoying themselves and the loads of attention they got.
Finally, the head or the person with the highest authority spoke up ..in my mind, its time folks put on your seatbelts. But I was wrong... there he was ...
talking so calmly, so simply, so beautifully giving examples of his own life where at times he too had made mistakes and always thought he was right, not consenting to listen to anothers' view .... after such a heated match, this talk felt like a soothing balm ... like a cool drink going down ones parched throat, like a patch of shade after a walk in the hot sun...
And the two were watching with bated breath who would get the last word, he let them talk and spill their festering rot onto the floor.. things were sorted out in such a lovely manner, in peace and done with grace...hands were met.. to me it seemed like there was a divine power in the authority.
As my day ended my thoughts were ... anything can be done, if only we could use kind words, if only we would understand, if only we let go of our egos, if only we forgive, and in due course time will heal .. IF ONLY.....

Such a beautiful boy !!! that is the way I can describe the little child. He is always there, playing on the footpath, so early in the morning, on our way for a walk, His father owns a little stall, where he ekes out a living ironing creased clothes.
He loves playing with the potted plants around him, and the fathers watchful eyes keeps the scamp from wandering out onto the busy traffic congested lane.
A couple of days back, the little boy was sobbing bitterly, such large tears for a little child, despite all his dirt stained face, and tears flowing ..he looked cherubic, tried to put pieces why he was crying together, and realised he was wasting water from a tiny bucket that was kept on the road.
Like all little children, he was spilling it all over, before he realised WHACK ! and then a loud shrill and sob ! sob,
The father was urgently attending to his customers needs who were impatiently watching all that was happening.
A kind hearted soul took the little boy aside and pacified him.
And before you could snap your fingers, there he was chatting with his father... All in a days work....beautiful boy.....

It has been three long weeks since my sudden attack of the flu. The pampering was the BEST part of it. Friends sending loads of food, soups, stews, WOW ! quite a variety that was, and the pampering by my threesome, showed me how much they really cared.
Thanks to all my family and friends who remembered me during their prayers.

The World Cup, was something that kept my mind off the fever, and it was heart breaking to see Brazils' KAKA being sent off and subsequently walk off so obediently, Kaka a deeply religious person,with a squeaky clean image, realised that he should take the opportunity to train himself for the next game, as he mentioned in his interview the sweetest part of his protest was"Even my granny got very angry when she saw the refree(Referring to his red card)and I cannot tell you what she said here". That was really, really sooo sweet.

He sounded so vulnerable, and childlike..Dont we all like our near and dear ones to take our sides when we are in dire straits ? the only difference is that Kaka being a celebrity is just his simple self, no pretensions and no masks. He spoke straight from his heart. Something we all have to take a lesson from.
Wishing Brazil and the rest of the teams the very best for the finals....

"HAPPINESS IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE, NOT AN AUTOMATIC RESPONSE"


The moment she entered the compartment of the Borivili bound local, I knew she was the "Decision Maker"her walk, her talk, and the way she held her family in her hold. Ladies, baby and men all happily together.
It was evident from their attire that they were on their way to a function, the hot, humid day in the sweltering, almost melting heat did not deter them from wearing their jewelery, and embroidered sarees.
The Decision Maker(DM) seemed to know who liked which seats, and she alloted each one with her choice of seats. She spoke boldly and brazenly, shouting across passengers and co-passengers faces without, as much as giving a thought to their ear drums.
What fascinated me was her husband who she had in the crook of her little finger, he seemed to be enjoying the responsibility that his better half had taken, and he was viewing, the outside from a sliver that was available to him between passengers.
In the meantime the DM was gearing up in full throttle for her function, she was re-arranging whatever she could of her saree in her seated posture, settling the flowers in her hair, and her jewelery.
She evidently was a grandmother as she asked for the little baby and the daughter in law obediently obliged. They seemed a very content family, seemed very close knit and the men in the family, were all very content with moms ways.
There she was passing the water bottle for all to quench their thirst, and then came the napkin to wipe off the pespiration, oblivious to the fact that there were so many passengers, some of the passengers were helping in passing her equipment around.
The last glimpse I got before I alighted at my stop was one of total bliss, where DM had the little baby safely in her arms, and lulling baby to sleep, leaving the babys parents to have some time together and who seemed to really look forward to their quality time.
I began thinking, when was the last time I saw such a happy family moment ? where the family was happy despite the circumstances they were in ?(the heat, the crowded local, and the cramped up space)
Indeed it is up to us to make a situation the way we want it to be, we do not have to depend on another to make us happy or unhappy, as was evident in this case...

Always in the same dress, sometimes clean but most of the times, stained. Her head always bent and eyes searching the street, randomly picking bits of paper and reading what is written on them searching for something that I guess even she does not know. I tried to meet her eyes once, nothing happened, another time, still the same.. and finally I managed to make contact and gave her a smile, wondering if she would smile back, and she did.
Another day on my way to the market bumped into her and smiled, tried to talk to her,kind of forced my question by asking her "Where are going?" her words came tumbling out, faster than she could control, I tried to comprehend, some I did but most I didn't.
She talked about matters that did not concern us, about nosey neighbours(Who seemed to be the bane of her life) I just moved with the flow, and got the impression through her talk, that not too many people wanted to say Hi to her,( maybe it was her reluctance to make eye contact or maybe just her antisocial nature.)
She talked about the price rise, and how difficult it was to make ends meet, at which I asked her very politely"If she was a working girl?" she was mighty thrilled with my question and gave me the widest smile, which showed me a set of teeth that needed a lot of care.
She said she did work for a while but gave it all up to look after her ailing mother who passed away a while ago, now she was living on her sisters charity, and seemed to be very content with that.She asked me very relevant questions"Are you married?" "I know you live here" she said and pointed towards the right direction and even mentioned my building, both of us walked towards the icecream shop and enjoyed icecream together.
"Oh Thank you very much for the icecream"with a wave of her hand she was gone.
A couple of weeks ago I met her again this time she just looked thru me, like we had not met.
I see her sometimes walking and mumbling something to herself and even managing to smile at her own jokes. At times she smiles at me, most of the times she just goes on walking, searching for THAT BIT OF PAPER, .......

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Kahlil Gibran

I am at a stage of my life where my niece is a few months away from moving out , that is to say get married. Sounds so cliched .. she was so little remember the day we went to see her in hospital the day she was born, so tiny, so vulnerable so beautiful !, watched her grow to be a toddler, a young girl, with a satchel and a hairband larger then her head going to school, a teenager and finally a little adult, lots of interesting tidbits I have shared with her, her friends, her likes, her dislike and finally her prince charming. What a lucky boy he is.
And each time I see the brides mother on a wedding day, I know I too will have to be there,one day.My daughter is still a teen and will be a grown up "Little"lady.
I have always believed that it is in giving that you receive real joy. My heart all mixed up, with joy, and parting, and knowing well that she has to go, most importantly to see her Happy.
Kahil Gibran so clearly states this, And I am referring only to daughters,
Sons too at one point of life have to move on and get on with their own way of life, their happiness and we have to be able to let go, I must admit that I admire my parents who at this age have let us three with our own ways of life my brother in his and my sister and me in ours, they are always there to help us, whenever we need but NEVER imposing themselves on us, I am sure Mum and Dad are the living examples of what Kahil Gibran has stated above.
And as my husband and me draw closer to our empty nest syndrome may God grant us the grace and wisdom to be able to live and let live.....They belong not to you....

>From God with Love..... Read this beautiful poem and the last two lines, say it all, how as a family we have to always be there no matter what, no matter where.and the values we teach our children will always come back home to us..... read on ...

~Author Unknown~

Children are a blessing sent from God above
For us to care and nurture and most of all to love.

God calls us to be parents and gives us all the tools
And when we feel like giving up, our strength He will renew.

Children are a gift from God that He so freely lends
To make it through the childhood years, on Him we must depend.

He must have a presence, you see it must take three
The parents, child and Christ at the center to be a family.

From childhood days to a child full grown
Their joys and hurts are a parent's own.

Times of joy and laughter and those times of tears
The times spent raising a child are surely the best of years.

There comes that time in life when a child will leave the nest
We must send them off with love and a prayer and leave to God the rest.

We've have shared the Word of God, we've taught them right from wrong
Now it's time to let them go and let them write their song.

The faith instilled, the examples lived, and the lessons taught
All gifts that we've given our child, which will never be forgotten.

There are many paths a child can take, right or wrong will remain unknown
But rest assured that in the end, they all lead back to home.

______________________________________________________________________

Frequently remind yourself that God is with you, that He will
never fail you, that you can count upon him. Say these words,
"God is with me, helping me."
- Norman Vincent Peale
I have read two of his books "Power of Positive Thinking" and "The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking", In his writings he us teaches how to live life,despite failure, to look beyond the ditches and pot holes to train ourselves to think positive not as a means to fame or power but as the practical application of faith to overcome defeat and live a full and happy life.
Many of us believe, we are invincible, indestructible and along the way we forget-GOD that we have to remind ourselves that if not for HISpresence, we would be nothing.
Whilst we are having goodtimes, nothing matters, like an advertisement jingle that goes..let the goodtimes roll. It is only when dark clouds gather and we see a storm brewing that we turn to HIM, bribe him, pleading to give in to our way. But things do not happen as we wish But as HE does.
Back to the above quote, We must keep reminding ourselves that God is with us and he will always be by our side, so many heartaches may seem much smaller than one really sees them. In my own life I have witnessed several such wonders, an"Angel" comes along telling you something that you would realise later that saved you from something grave, and all the time knowing well. HE was there, walking side by side, Believe in him,acknowledge HIM, and have faith, as little as the mustard seed, and you will see wonders before your eyes, doors opening, and seas parting to let you pass through.

Nora Roberts
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

There I was sulking away, and the mother was in no mood to ask me why, I guess with having to look after three kids, who were just two years apart, was a tough task. My brother who is the youngest and my sister the eldest I was the " middleman",shall we say middlegirl, besides I was always seeking answers to orders that the "Authorities" gave out, which in most of the cases, I got a telling off or sometimes just a case of the wind blowing on their ears kind of a situation.
I remember my sister and brother coaxing me to go and ask for the permission to go to the party.We nearly always lent support to each other, I was mortified. Not so much at encountering my mother who in turn would ask the "Higher" up my Dad in this case, but it was my inability to hear a "NO" from them that was pulling me back.
After so much of debating and brooding ... I mustered the courage to ...ask,
I tried strategy at first went around the house and cleaned it up dusted, folded placed everything in an order and then was step two..wow ! this surely was looking good"Why oh, why did I go through so much when all this was so easy?" was the thought that came to my head.
Like all mothers, mum saw thru my ploy and asked me straight off"What is it you want? ( " "'Here, here quickly open up mother earth swallow me" )I stammered and fumbled "Oh nothing Mom, just doing my share of good deeds," she went about her business like she did not know anything, but was it so ? Mothers have that uncanny sense and a million eyes placed all over them so they "see" every wince of pain, or every snigger, that happens, it was no different here with my Mum, a truimphant sign of victory to my siblings, signalled that I was drawing closer to my goal.
Just then the phone rang and Mum picked it up "Hello, blah, blah blah, more blah blah and there I was my ears placed to get the maximum coverage of the sound waves, 'Ah thank goodness it was the opposite neighbour and her regular downloading on Mum about the milkman and the paperboy and ... and .. and she was gone for a long while.Mum looked at me and said,"Can you please give a hand to Aunty S, she needs help with her shopping," before mum could finish I had dressed up and thought this is the moment ... "You know mum I wanted to know if I could go to M's party on the week end ? She turned around like she had been struck by lightning and said "Why not ?" "Oh, er.. I was taking your permission," "Surely you can but I have to ask Dad, if it is fine with him" ... do you know what it feels like to be an inflated balloon thats just got pricked by a pin? well I did......
To cut a long story short, I did get my permission and I did enjoy myself ... and so many years later now a mother myself, I know that if I did not ask the answer would have been No , and if I did not go after my goal, I would have been just there sulking and brooding, This is a simple example, but many a times have applied to the larger picture in life.

I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
Kahlil Gibran
To physically witness what Kahlil Gibran has "quoted" one must visit the Mahim Church on wednesdays, which is the day of the week when the novena is held.
People, of different denominations all together in prayer ! standing cheek to cheek,
It is truly an experience that one must.....
We try to go for the weekly novena, sometimes circumstances force us otherwise.
During my many such novenas, I have witnessed people crying their hearts out by just touching the frame of the picture of Mother Mary, people walking on bended knees down the main aisle says so much !
Coming back to the quote, every religion calls for peace and forgiveness and love. We are all hurt at one point of time or another, but is it so easy to forgive as our religion teaches us,? it is tough, and we have to train ourselves to do so, in any way we can, motivation, reading similar type of books or maybe the scriptures which every religion abides by.
Is it so easy to love all whom you come across ? again that is a tough call, but that does not mean you have to embrace everyone that you meet. You just have to live peacefully and love will follow ... peace and love have always gone hand in hand, And every religion teaches us to be good human beings, truly we are sons of one religion.

The longest of the school vacations have begun, and it is the sounds of the children who play in the compound that have always indicated if the schools have their tests, or exams or if they have a long week end.
The sounds of them playing on a school weekday evening indicate that they are relatively free, at other times, the silence can drive me crazy it makes the place seem so dull and quiet translated this could mean that they have an important test or maybe even an exam coming up.
This morning during our walk, we saw a parent taking a whole lot of enthusiastic, children all equipped with bats and balls, caps, and water bottles, all set for a long day of play. The children seemed oh! so cheerful, and even remarked about this to my husband. On schooldays these children would have been looking so dull and plodding their way to school.
Very soon the monsoons will be here and "WATER WELCOME" the flooded streets and inaccessible roads provides another legitimate holiday the children screaming in glee and playing around in the rain, little scamps deliberately jumping into puddles with ecstatic peals of laughter .. sounds that make me realise that happiness is all a state of ones mind and what we make of the situation we are in.

Actions speak louder than words, and we were witness to this . Last weekend we were invited to a neighbors 90th birthday, the 'Birthday Boy" in his tuxedo was looking good, with his beautiful, wife besides him.
Everything was well taken care of, the guests were welcomed at the door and the atmosphere was lovely, befitting one who has lived life and surely deserved a celebration of this grandeur,completing the circle with close family and friends.
Their children came in from different parts of the globe, and one could see the amount of time and thought and money that was invested into the celebration.
Going back to my opening statement, small acts of caring that I saw brought so much more energy into my recently renewed vows. His wife was helping her husband, explaining to him, "Mr and Mrs P are here to wish you," and helping him to have a lovely afternoon, you could see nothing...... Only love all around them,be it their children, or close friends, or even the bearers were so thoughtful.
There was a power point presentation and pictures of the past days were shown, together with the highs and lows in their lives, my husband was especially thrilled with a picture of their dog, they once owned as it seems his and their dog too, were buddies ! The food was the highlight of the afternoon .
The children gave their own versions of their days gone by and brought a tear to our eyes.
The little acts of love made by the family, his children who had left their homes, and jobs only for a few days to be with dad and mum was so beautiful, I could not help but think what their parting would be like. Quickly tried to focus on the delicious food.
Several thoughts were snaking in and out of my mind, but one of them I will surely write ........, it is nice to be with our loved ones during their lifetime,and treasure these "LIVE" memories instead of placing bouquets on a cold tombstone.
So lets get out and start loving and forgiving and live in this NOW moment.
Till you read again !

Truth Hurts! we have so often heard someone tell us this and know it is the absolute TRUTH. My husband and me were at the other end of the saying, we spent the last few days contemplating what it is that make people so wily, so cruel, so ruthless and in our experience shameless. All for a few pennies more.
It was a tough situation that we were in and things had to be told straight faced, with no compromises and no brokers.
There was an absolute halt in functioning as many people decided to walk out when told the truth, But sorry ! no roll backs on our values and principles instilled in us. Sad to add that sometimes even your own family disbelieves yr intentions. Many hurts and harsh words were said by all and sundry and to cut a sad story short, We walked away from it all ........
Why did we do this ? walk away from something that you so truly believe is a very hard thing to do but putting in so many fruitless hours of toil,( the family was absolutely on the backburner. We had to weigh the options and with both our feet on the ground.... will it finally work out ? Will the childrens growing years standstill for us in our quest for this ? will our health permit us to take on ? many a late night tending to various issues had made us forgo our morning walks, All these questions and more were something that came foremost to our minds and did what we did.
Just walked away ... I am glad as we are a few days into the new way and realise how important it is not to compromise on the values and your principles.
Thank my Mum and Dad who have been with us through this ordeal and have been the main support in our trying times.... Thank you all for the prayers that you have prayed too ! God Bless

Summer is back ! what a lovely sight to see the mango trees outside my window bursting with blossoms all waiting to" grow-up". Some have already turned over into tiny mangoes and some big mangoes.
On our morning walks have seen a jackfruit laden with TINY jackfruits, tiny as in comparision with the size of the fully grown up jack. The birds cannot decide which fruit platter to choose from, will it be this or that, must be their state of mind in summer everytree is showing off, the jambuls are there up too, when the tree is too tired to hold up sooo many ... there they go all over the pavements, streaking it, with a lovely royal purple. The targula will arrive shortly and a corner on the street where I live has this vendor bringing the delicious targula directly from the tree breaks the nut and there for all to see the lovely sweet kernel a smaller version of the coconut.
The watermelons have been around for most part of the year, not the big round variety but the tiny oblong ones, which are crisp and sweet, I still prefer the huge round watermelons.
The grand entry will be made by none other than the KING, of all fruits, at the wholesale market we will see trucks unloading huge baskets and not so huge boxes, and then for us truly summer has arrived...

On certain days, the parent/guardian is permitted to come to see their child, at the orphanage in the vicinity where I live. It is an all boys home and maybe housing around 200 boys of all ages the biggest being in class 10th the littles ones who are so kindly housed here are a treat to behold, they are so little the tiniest maybe in the range of five/six years cannot really place a finger on the right age, however they are a lesson for us to learn in terms of so many things that we and our children take for granted .
They wake up at 0600 am every morning except on holidays when they are given a little extra time for sleeping, and then they go for their prayers and breakfast and school and the usual happenings that would take place in a little ones life except that they do all this without the aid of their parents no pampering to wake up, or go thru their breakfast eat what is placed before you and they look well fed,( mind you not obese) they get their share of play every evening and the very tiny ones are looked after by the nuns from the nearby convent (Glad for that as they have a mothers' touch here!) When dusk settles I can hear the hymns and praise they give The Almighty ... which is so touching ..
Whenever I watch the little ones play sometimes a small boy will look around and see me and smile and a braveheart will even wave at me, such innocence !!! At this moment I can only feel so grateful for everything that HE does for everyone of us and cares about each of his creatures both Big and Small ... He is the God of all.....

Happy days are Here Again...!!!!Have been enjoying a couple of days of "Winter"and it definately makes a difference, to most of the happenings around us, the people in the buses are more than happy to have the windows shut, and a slight crowd does not matter in this time, the fruits are luscious the blushing strawberry and the sugar watered Oranges, the black currants are all the rage in the fruit market, ....
I love this season, the cool morning walks, and some pet owners even wrap their little doggies with jackets and scarves, people sitting around a wood fire to warm themselves with cups of chai...I love these simple pleasures
Maybe we have just a few days left, as we have the festival of Holi which is meant to herald spring and then we get into the blistering hot summer, on the flip side don't we all wait for the King of fruits to arrive ?
For miles around us we will see a" golden sea"mounds and mounds of mangoes around us, people carrying boxes of them and some of them like me, setting out to make pickle, that is really meant to last till the next cycle, but believe me ... it really does not sit around for that long, an aunt here a neighbour there and the rest is meant for "us" "Hey mom where is the pickle you made last month ?"
Till then happy winter days !!!!

The year seems to be extremely busy and the same old ...time flies so fast, surely it does, with the year one month already flown away and my husband and me completing 25 years of marriage surely it does, The years are crystal clear and have lovely memories of the past .. miss my mother in law and father in law who had been part of us so many years ago and like I mentioned "Can feel their presence in our midst" it was a lovely evening we all had family and very close friends I missed my bridesmaid .... it was difficult to finally make out the guest list, had to leave a lot of people out of it, but some things have to be done and that was it,
The family support one gets in these times is tremendous and it was a wonderful five days of partying and fun, we hardly slept,the earliest we slept was at 0230 am ...... every morning bleary eyed, gulping coffee and grouchy for a while, then back to getting things finalized for the B Day.
We have the Almighty to thank in all this who has been with us every nano second,
parting was tough and it was very difficult I had my sisters in law together with their families who came from two different worlds and it felt good to know that we meant so much to them, certain we are blessed...
It has not been a smooth journey one of ups and downs, sometimes it was only downs left us both wondering when we would see the top, times we would feel so low had to reach up to tie our shoelaces..but like we know every grey cloud has a silver lining and that was it... sunshine after the rain, a rainbow out there lots of signs that tell you so,
Thank you all for being with us for the past 25 years ...

Spread Happiness

Hello Happiness
Christmas and New Year have come and gone faster than we can imagine and it is hope that we look forward to their coming around again.. Hope that this year will be better than the previous, hope that the global meltdown will ease, hope that all our troubles will be halved, and joys doubled, and the list can go on and on and on..But all that is upto to us to happen
Make the best of all that is not suited to us, take time out for close friends and family, share happiness with people you pass, smile at a stranger help the elderly and see the inner change within you the, my bet is that you will never be the same again, you will be a Happy person and and closed doors will open, things that you have long been waiting for will happen, that friend you had lost contact with... will happen and finally you will realise you are looking back at 2010 and what a wonderful year it was for me....