The season of Lent it is all about emerging a new person after a 40 day introspection of oneself.
Symbolic to the chick emerging ... (Easter Egg)
A long, deep look within ourselves, and we all realise that we are no angels, and that the finger that you pointed at someone,look carefully, there are three more pointing back at you.
What can we do to make ourselves better people ? dont take too big a bite, small baby steps that you can manage and do that well, which in turn will motivate you to extend your goodwork.
Make it a point to always realise that just as we think we are always right, the other side too thinks the same.. so who is right and who is wrong ? think logically it is not about wining or losing, its about coming midway and making both A & B happy.
During my younger days, I realised that it was always a better situation when both of us were happy be it sharing a box of chocolates when the number was odd,the choice of a movie, everything settled amicably was a lovely feeling, and I have always tried the same method, >Believe me !
Reconcilation, with your neighbours, friends, and near and dear ones,... many of us say"Oh, I am fine, it is he/she who will not shake a hand" if you are fine, take that all important step towards patching your relationship up, and say a "Hello" shake a hand, unburden yourself, you will feel wonderful...even better than the best work out..Believe me !
It is always nice to tell a person if he hurt you, how hurtful his words to you were, as soon as possible instead of a wound festering and rotting. A lot of misunderstanding can be cleared as most of the things that we think were said were never meant that way and quickly the matter is sorted and apologies are handed out, which is a wonderful way...Have tried this out too ! Believe me.
A long gaze, a deep look can help us live our lives simply, without complications, and a clear conscience is the softest pillow....Believe me.

The recent article in the newspapers where the mother threw her kids and herself to death ( two of them)from atop a building terrace was horrifying. The pictures in the papers shows a lovely peaceful happy family the kids like all little children look so happy to be sitting in moms arms(The best place to ever be in !) and it was at this point that my mind went on to say "GOD why did she have to do it ?"" "What makes one so gutsy, to know that death is just a nano second away ?"
I am a mother of two grown up little adults and no doubt from time to time there are pressures which come from different quarters, a silly remark that at one point of time could be ignored may at that time spurn you to do irrational things. How do we control this illogical happening ?
Many a time a quarrel between us has sent me sulking, sometimes it has me on my guard and so to say"Giving it back" there are times when I just ziplock my lips and keep reading, and at other times I try smile and try and gently reason out .(Here the effort to do this is huge !)
In all of my "ACTS" the one that I have found the best is the "ZIPLOCK" method..Let the storm pass, This too shall pass comes to my mind and surely it does. But just how do we get there.
Rash thoughts do come to 0nes mind, but I do not entertain them. Pray, move away from the chaotic situation, take a walk, read if your mind allows you to do so(Mine does not allow me to focus)and if you cannot, help it involve the family .. which is the strongest column of our relationship.
In every phase of my life I look back and realise that my family have always been there for me, a sick child ..my mum and dad are up there, my sister who lives next door to me, is just a door bell away.
I clearly remember during the deluge mumbai faced not too long ago, my mum and dad were ready to go and look for the kids bus... but where do they go ? it was something straight from their hearts but we never let it happen. Of course the kids took an absolute long and winding road home but Thank God They were safe.
Many a time just mulling over the problem also has reaped good results.
My formula for this would be : If one of us can control the situation, as in remain quite, it does not matter who is right or wrong, as long as rash actions are not taken, in the heat of the moment, after the "Storm" has passed sit together quietly and settle the issue, here too do not use provocative language (You must remember the wound will be raw !)try and eliminate the I..." I want you to change and become a less angry person", sounds much better if we use "We should both change and become better people"
Like I have mentioned earlier there are no winners or losers here, the idea is to heal the hurt, and no better balm than kindness and love, and then the ultimate solution lies there right in those lovely arms.They can always go round in a warm hug.
For sure this works... this has been proved and tested.... so go ahead ...Choice is yours!!!!

Can we forgive easily ? Can we let our hurt rest ? Can we ... can we... a jumble confused mind,
And I realised that it is not so easy to forgive... a lot of hurt that people have caused can be got off, if not today definately tomorrow, all it needs is a willing heart and an open mind.
I for sure, try and make things easy for myself after a hurt. "Just Leave it,!" I keep telling myself and things will sort out. I kind of like to believe that it never existed, but deep within me, I know there is that raw wound that on touching will hurt, so I move away till I feel a wee bit better
.
When my heart is willing and mind is open,I sort my mind, I broach the topic and this has made me feel better many a time.
Like I have written, it is not easy, But truly it is not impossible.

Just watching her do her face in the mirror, sends me back in time. Similar poses, similar searching for compliments, just everything about her. And then the lovely hit song by Billy Joel"Isn't she lovely, Isn't she beautiful....." keeps going on in my head.
I too was just an eighteen year, and life was so beautiful, no worry, no care, knowing that parents were there to take care of every little tension and bother, of course like every eighteen year old, wants were always more than needs. My mother is an emotionally very strong lady.With Dad out at sea most of the year, she had to manage the household and us three kids, times were tough, money was not easy to come by and mum had to play a dual role that of a mother and father, sometimes a counsellor too .
There were times when Mum would wait for a letter or some form of communication from my dad at sea, maybe a colleague sailing into mumbai or a simple 'Inland' letter. Just the sight of the postman entering the building and my mum would beam...only to hear him go by. Life was tough; at times, my Dad arrived ahead of his already posted letter.
To think of times,now and how easy it has made life, we can now watch each other, across the continents, know whats cooking in the pot and what we are wearing for the party tonight.
I tell the kids, the above facts that i have documented and how much easier it now is.
The girl asks me, "Mum, did you not have a phone? Was TV all in black and white ?"
TV serials like "The Invisible Man" and "Star Trek" were something that we kids really looked forward to. Even the melodious, "Chhaya Geet" anchored by the chirpy Tabassum was really looked forward to.
Hard days, but never for a single moment can i say i did not enjoy even those times.
i clearly remember a letter coming from my dad to say that he would be home for Christmas, months ahead of Christmas.... a month to go still no news, then finally a phone call to say that he would not be able as he did not find someone to relieve him.
Total disappointment for us all, but my Mum took on and went on to make all the sweets as we would always do ... dad will come, maybe not for christmas and there we had a lonely christmas but a happy one.
So many instances remind me of our childhood days.
The kids are such wonderful little adults and realise that we are truly blessed to be so fortunate be it in advancement of communications, transportation, education just any place its a wonderful world right now and i'm lovin it

They held their hands, and tenderly led each other on the road.They were a little ahead of me.
This was no ordinary couple, they were both blind, and just like any other, they too were in love, they could not "gaze" into each others eyes, but for certain the hands locked, were a visible sign of their affection.they were happily chatting and something in the couple, made me realise how blessed we are to have every little finger in its place, and still there are times when i groan and grouch for silly things as much as the newspaper coming in late.
There are lessons to be learnt at every turn on our way but do we get to them ?
Here was this couple who was surely, truly, doubly blessed, as inspite of them not being to enjoy the visions of sight, were "oblivious" to the people walking on the road, it was just like they two existed.
They gently led each other and walked on their way to work, the red and white cane tapping the pavement. The people at the junction who were crossing, guided them to the safety of the other side, where they went off chatting and laughing at a private joke. what a sight to behold !!!
Love knows no language, no caste, no creed.

There she was all dressed up in bridal finery, every little girls dream, but this time it was for real, it was such a beautiful sight. There was total confusion in the room, people spilling all over the place, waiting for the photographer to call us in, for the photoshoot with the bride.
Words cannot describe the heaviness of ones heart as one has to part with the "little girl" knowing well that she has to bloom where she is planted... or thats the way we believe, to start their own lives and blossom, nurture a brand new family and all that.
In this case, it was my little neice, who we had held a few hours after her birth.
And to see her so happy going off with the one she loves is a satisfying feeling and kind of sets one free of the heaviness, as thats the way I wanted to believe.
The wedding festivities flew off in a tizzy and our trip to Goa was a beautiful dream.
God Bless the young couple and wish them a world of happiness, peace and Joy.

Sometimes its seems getting two people to see eye to eye ... especially when they have a past history of not doing so ... is a mammoth task... or at least was a mammoth....
Let me just call them A & B for reasons best known to us. everything is factual except for their names.
Every little word A spoke was sieved, twisted, turned flipped, and then sent forward. Similarly B dissected the forwarded word and back it went. We could sense the tension in the room, which was so thick we could get a slice of it, and back and forth it was going like we were watching a table - tennis championship.
Even if we tried to intervene and sort things out they kind of did not like us trying to make peace, they seemed to be enjoying themselves and the loads of attention they got.
Finally, the head or the person with the highest authority spoke up ..in my mind, its time folks put on your seatbelts. But I was wrong... there he was ...
talking so calmly, so simply, so beautifully giving examples of his own life where at times he too had made mistakes and always thought he was right, not consenting to listen to anothers' view .... after such a heated match, this talk felt like a soothing balm ... like a cool drink going down ones parched throat, like a patch of shade after a walk in the hot sun...
And the two were watching with bated breath who would get the last word, he let them talk and spill their festering rot onto the floor.. things were sorted out in such a lovely manner, in peace and done with grace...hands were met.. to me it seemed like there was a divine power in the authority.
As my day ended my thoughts were ... anything can be done, if only we could use kind words, if only we would understand, if only we let go of our egos, if only we forgive, and in due course time will heal .. IF ONLY.....