The recent article in the newspapers where the mother threw her kids and herself to death ( two of them)from atop a building terrace was horrifying. The pictures in the papers shows a lovely peaceful happy family the kids like all little children look so happy to be sitting in moms arms(The best place to ever be in !) and it was at this point that my mind went on to say "GOD why did she have to do it ?"" "What makes one so gutsy, to know that death is just a nano second away ?"
I am a mother of two grown up little adults and no doubt from time to time there are pressures which come from different quarters, a silly remark that at one point of time could be ignored may at that time spurn you to do irrational things. How do we control this illogical happening ?
Many a time a quarrel between us has sent me sulking, sometimes it has me on my guard and so to say"Giving it back" there are times when I just ziplock my lips and keep reading, and at other times I try smile and try and gently reason out .(Here the effort to do this is huge !)
In all of my "ACTS" the one that I have found the best is the "ZIPLOCK" method..Let the storm pass, This too shall pass comes to my mind and surely it does. But just how do we get there.
Rash thoughts do come to 0nes mind, but I do not entertain them. Pray, move away from the chaotic situation, take a walk, read if your mind allows you to do so(Mine does not allow me to focus)and if you cannot, help it involve the family .. which is the strongest column of our relationship.
In every phase of my life I look back and realise that my family have always been there for me, a sick child ..my mum and dad are up there, my sister who lives next door to me, is just a door bell away.
I clearly remember during the deluge mumbai faced not too long ago, my mum and dad were ready to go and look for the kids bus... but where do they go ? it was something straight from their hearts but we never let it happen. Of course the kids took an absolute long and winding road home but Thank God They were safe.
Many a time just mulling over the problem also has reaped good results.
My formula for this would be : If one of us can control the situation, as in remain quite, it does not matter who is right or wrong, as long as rash actions are not taken, in the heat of the moment, after the "Storm" has passed sit together quietly and settle the issue, here too do not use provocative language (You must remember the wound will be raw !)try and eliminate the I..." I want you to change and become a less angry person", sounds much better if we use "We should both change and become better people"
Like I have mentioned earlier there are no winners or losers here, the idea is to heal the hurt, and no better balm than kindness and love, and then the ultimate solution lies there right in those lovely arms.They can always go round in a warm hug.
For sure this works... this has been proved and tested.... so go ahead ...Choice is yours!!!!
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